grownups.

i said "i'm a city girl now, i miss the trees that found homes on their own, without city planning approval."
and then i wasted paper by writing it down.

i've become a lot of things lately, a whirling of faux-philosophies and female expectations.
i'm putting down paintbrushes and picking up toys, i could be a mama maybe.

we make big promises and we fall to pieces but right now
right
now
i like to sleep naked and surrender singularity and touch my skin
pregnant with possibilty
and let my fingers be the trees
make up the oxygen i need

i'm self-sufficient for as long as you let me be
so let me be
and bury me in blankets and quilts gathered by my grandmother
meant for a wedding bed

i skipped the wedding and went straight to bed
i felt like i was getting a cold
and anyway, i'd miss the people in love on the television.

but you love me right?
i'll make you playdough cookies and care for teddy and the rest
while you're off in space and saving lives
and we can preserve tradition because
maybe that's all we're worth.

and that's ok.